My husband left me because of my past reddit It was hard. the oldest two screamed and sobbed and don’t understand why daddy left and our infant has been crying since bedtime because my husband was the only one who he would sleep for. Recently, my boyfriend (20M) ended our relationship after discovering details about my past relationships. I wanted to see my husband so badly. And mentioned something about a keylogger or something. as soon as he heard the answer this sweet loveable guy went silent and later lost his damn mind and called me a fucking whore who tried marry him cause i'm now getting old. I wanted to be serious so I confessed everything important about my past with him, including having made the stupid mistake of cheating in my past abusive relationship, because I have been in a very low place mentally then. ” I was obviously devastated and begged him to change his He said that he can’t see us together long term due to our “incompatibility. This is a repost. Original Title: Me [32F] with my husband[35M] of 10 years, he is divorcing me because I am infertile. I would want to focus on the situation at hand and he'd bring up the past and make me feel like I was the bad person no matter My (21F) Husband (26M) told me that he listens outside the bathroom door the entire time I'm I told him that I wasn’t a virgin and I’ve had some short relationships but I wasn’t that sexually experienced either. We knew we both weren’t virgins, but never felt we had a right to know about intimacies in the past. I didn't even ask him to get tattoos. I tried messaging him and chasing him hoping he would explain to me because I was not satisfied about his reasons. I'm an absolute wreck. It’s just, when you’re someone who hasn’t experienced a breakup earlier, and it’s your first time, you try in every way to get through it as quickly as possible, even if it involves dating other people. Title says it all. I always “drank hard” but only on the weeks I did not have my children. And he wouldn't hold me or touch me in any way. I have an ACE score of 10/10 and in spite of that, I don't respond like this to anyone but him and my previous long term relationship with my 17 year olds father and my My husband doesn't believe my explanation and wants to separate. Why I didn’t leave than and there is beyond me. 90% of our problems were just him comparing what we had to what he had with her. I told him he had to come talk to me, if he wanted this to work we needed to talk. He literally just walked up to me and said he was moving out. I saw about this community in r/asoneafterinfidelity and redirected here. He and my daughter have a really strong bond and they have their own inside jokes. literally jumped me. I haven't fallen in love with someone else but I do feel we are different people now. I will say that I married my “rebound” if that helps anywhere in this story. Myself (39f) and my husband (39m) have been married 5 years and together 10. Husband left me because of my triggers . then took my phone, the internet box and the car and left me there bloody and broken (the kids did not see anything, thankfully). A man that cheats on his wife who has refused to have sex with him for the past 3 years deserves forgiveness. And now he’s madly in love with this woman. My Disney romance boyfriend of two years left me and I was drinking hard. And I get what you're saying because my ex was my first love too. We would hang out sometimes and still talk. He now wants a second chance, but I’ve met someone knew who seems like a great person. I have hard time sleeping at night because sometimes I worry that my husband will leave me. As the other person suggested, r/deadbedrooms is full of people who have spouses who think things are fine because their needs are being met, while the other person is miserable because theirs aren't. so here I am. Thank you to the moderators who approved me. Get the Reddit app Scan this My ex left me because she was triggered when she was around me. No need to he sorry for your opinion but I’m not going to take that risk having kids with him and allowing such a Abusive man in their lives despite it being his kids as well, obviously he allowed this man to abuse him what makes his own kids any different I watched this man walk in to my house and give my 30 year old husband a blackeye right in front of me All because my Tldr: My husband and I flew out to our hometown for Thanksgiving. Forcing sex on me when he wanted. I’ve never asked him about his past sexual experiences because I don’t want to know those details. I lost my virginity one year before meeting my husband to a much older man who basically broke my heart. Countless consultations, too many tests to counts, FIVE rounds of And then more radio silence. Sister picks me up, clears my stuff out of the hotel room, stayed with her until earlier flight. I have a feeling he’s the one guilty of something and is why he’s accusing me however he’s sneaky and he gets mad when I question him or he starts crying and getting suicidal. My husband of almost ten years left me after I had yet another freakout from being triggered by him. Now our daughter is 9 and complaining that she doesn't want to visit him anymore because she feels like an outsider in his home. A couple of weeks ago, my husband was out at a The first time I went off with the other man, I left my husband because we had always agreed that if we ever wanted to be with someone else, we would end it before hand I am a 41year old woman who is in the middle of a divorce. So I decided that I deserved to be happy. Getting upset because in the past your partner knowingly and willingly became “the other woman” and participated in infidelity? For a lot of people this is going to be a deal breaker. I don't regret my first marriage because I learned how strong I am, and what I am not willing to live with ever again, and it brought me to the place where I met my second husband. I had a male best friend; we were extremely close in everything. We did try to conceive a few years ago with medical help as I Due to similar growing apart. I just created this reddit account because I'm embarrassed about what just happened to me. Because she is very pretty. My husband told me that he hated everything about our lives, and that I forced him to visit my parents every week (I thought he enjoyed visiting them from what he had told me). I have a child from a previous relationship that he has raised for the past 10 years. The next few weeks go by and I finally had witnesses that disapproved everything she was saying and she finally admitted that what she said was a lie. Husband spends the entire day and night with the bullies, then knocks on my sisters door looking So we have been dating for about 16 months now (we're both white), but he just figured out about my ex-boyfriend, who was black. I just don’t understand why he doesn’t love me anymore. I want my life back, my family back. He couldn't handle what he called my "high" body count, and it's left me feeling lost and confused. He also said that he feels incredibly hurt by my actions. After a 10 year relationship (married 2. After that I hooked up with a colleague because my self esteem was rock bottom. He came home from work, I made his tea, and then he went upstairs and My husband of 20 years walked out on our marriage in 2004. He would spend his nights at work alone, or days at home alone while the kids and I were at work/school obsessing over my sexual history. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. He said I was draining him because of my past. Of course I was mad, just like you are, and of course I felt aggrieved, as you do. I've been on the other side of the coin when someone told me "I've learned my lesson" in regards to their past My past boyfriend's were abusive but this is the man that showed me i can be loved and respected. true. I don’t know what I dated someone without a past (I was her first) despite having been married, divorced, and with more people than there are states in the US. He put it off again and again until today. And yet my husband still wants to divorce me because even though the allegations aren't true, they have tainted me in his eyes. You are right that you dodged a bullet. We're about to start marriage counselling but it's really just because my husband was so upset. She told me that my phone was possibly compromised. 5 years), my husband moved out and left me because he was unhappy. TL;DR – My ex left me for his “one that got away”. Trust me, I don’t want to justify my actions. They are the norm. He told me he's been thinking, and told me that I've broken his trust and because of me not telling him about my past he doesn't know if he can trust me at all. Why do i do these things to begin with? I My value as a human-being is not less because I've slept with lots of people. Even if it was true having regret does not automatically lead to change. 5 years, but my past mattered to her more than it did to me. And my husband deserves someone who loves him. I told him that he could trust me, that those videos were from almost a decade ago and that I've never hidden anything from him. I ended up scheduling it. beat the hell out of me. 5 years and were even seeking help from a fertility specialist. Welcome to r/relationship_advice. My ex and my best friend of 15 years were cheating together. My husband has been reassuring me all the way through but I still am My husband, Gavin and I have been separated for four months now. I dated her for 4. He mentioned it was because I had changed since opening up about my past, but I think it’s because since we did not meet for a month, he had more time to think I cheated on him a week after we officially started dating because of my mania (which I understand doesn't excuse my behavior) and stayed friends with the guy I cheated on him with for way too long. We run into my old high-school bullies. I was told to my face that I was too short to date (I'm 5'6") and I was so pissed off that my date would be that shallow as to judge my worth based on my height, especially when she was only 5'2", that I walked out and left her with the bill. One day I was at my sisters doing laundry and I found out he physically cheated. I still had a few days left at the motel, so called around. I'm still having a hard time coping. I'm not sure when exactly it started because everything seems to just spilled out all in one 1. I know hard times will come ahead, but right now, I'm certain that we'll be able to take on that challenge. I tried messaging his friends to help me talk to him and he was not willing to cooperate. Ex-boyfriend dumped me because I made out with a guy at a party My (22f) Husband (29M) keeps telling me to come to Reddit about our arguments. Throwaway I'm a 18 year old female my boyfriend of a month broke up with me when he found out I slept with 4 guys before him he said he allow one person per year starting age 16 to a max of 7 guys all time. He didn't call me names or anything but he said he want a girl that doesn't throw herself to any guy and is emotionally mature that dont jump from guy to guy for validation. Long story sorry about that I feel awful. She was in my house the same day I was removed, she was sleeping in my bed with my husband. My husband is quite amazing. I just love him so much. He would always tell me, he can see why my husband left me for another woman. Always throwing it in my face. I was her only friend. He came home and confronted me and I denied everything. I never felt loved by him. But, damn, I only wish I'd known then it was possible to be this happy and content with someone. I dont recommend that because it really made my healing journey worse. We were financially in a horrible place meaning he wasn’t working and I was, he was driving my dads vehicle while my dad worked night shift & would help drive my nieces and nephews to school with my son. Or leaving your partner when chemo makes her feel miserable all the time. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors. They conspired and lied to have me removed from my home and my kids, false allegations. Regardless of where both of you are now in life, remember that HE CHOSE YOU. It breaks my heart because it was so sudden. I don’t think that’s right. ” He said he saw me as “just a friend” and I am “so annoying he lost all his feelings for me. Hey man I'm glad my comment resonated with you. I got home from a long work trip and almost the instant I walked through the door, my husband said he was leaving me. There’s a heck of a lot of judgemental keyboard warriors on here today who have no concept of the fact that she didn’t go into her past about the 4 some because the past is just that - PAST And he didn’t into his past about some 3 some because the past is just that - PAST Ok so, 1 month ago my husband of 4 years told me he “didn’t love me anymore” and he “wasn’t happy. I don't know the exact details but somehow, my husband went though his phone and found text messages from me as well as nude pictures. This was largely my fault because I was proud and in denial about the reality of things. EDIT: Before he left, He threw his contact card at me and said: "Think what you wanna do" I was told by my cousins to not act slutty, So I threw away my lingerie and denied oral sex as they told me. I'm a loyal, monogamous, kind woman who is completely devoted to my spouse, all the more so because I know what else is out there and I know that my partner is the person that I want to be with. My heart kinda breaks for you because you are being judged on Definitely lost my ex partially because of my depression as well As cliche as it sounds, I am now 100% confident that my negative self talk added a tremendous amount of friction into my life and my depression Until you get a therapist I implore you to look into The Trance of Unworthiness, and Radical Acceptance. Or leaving your partner because they have a ANY other condition out of their control that changes their perfect ideal of life together. Giving you an ultimatum of 3 days is not fair. Yes, these are better analogies than my original one. Since that night he started to withdraw and eventually told me he lost feelings for me and he broke up right before my birthday. 3K votes, 668 comments. My dog, cat, and I are safe at the moment, and I opened new bank accounts but have to wait on the cards to arrive. My ex dumped me two months ago because of that. " You are already prepared to move on because after years of soul crushing, random sex, you are unable to form an I am truly sorry. 2 days ago he decided to end it over text because he couldn't get over the fact I had been with his friend before him, and wants a girl with "no past". One being that he told me he was adopted, very much far from the truth. Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. Comparing me to her. Right you are Schickie! I never asked my spouse about his sexual past because what happened prior to meeting me is none of my business. I feel worthless and ugly and not deserving of any man. The problem started about six months ago, just a few months after we bought our house. I am so tired of focusing all my energy into someone who doesn't He has left and he hasn't contacted me for 2 weeks I don't know what to do Please help me. My husband got in a fight with Matt and left him at the club. He's from ME and I'm from Europe. I'm 34 years old woman. He genuinely thought that was enough attention and romance to sustain a relationship, never occurred to him to do anything else over years of me expressing how unhappy I was. Counseling went badly. . I know that leaving my boyfriend because I wanted to focus on my future career yet went and dater other people was fucked up. the love of my life broke up with me today cause i gave a honest answer to a question he asked (how many guys you slept with). The reason I didn’t mention my ex was because I was in a long, toxic relationship with him. This was a half lie because while my past sexual partners are quite low (8), I did have a lot of sex with my ex. we sat and cried and begged him to stay but he left anyways. What should I do? tl;dr: Boyfriend ending the relationship because I lied, but not because of my past. I opened up about my past to my then boyfriend now husband who has had a similar past to me. He would push me away so much. He started being avoidant and that began hurting me. I apologize in advance since english is not my first language. When I left my husband in September he was shocked and blindsided because he had gotten me a very thoughtful present last Christmas. If you were to ask my ex, things were fine and he was blindsided by me leaving, but for me, the last two years of my marriage were misery because He took our son for the first time in 4 days and I’m so heart broken because I hid from him while while the daycare teachers did the hand over. I'm much happier, we have more, and My husband told me that he hated everything about our lives, and that I forced him to visit my parents every week (I thought he enjoyed visiting them from what he had told me). He blocked me. Edit 2: I want to be clear, I'm not judging him, I don't feel entitled to his love, I'm not slandering his preference or anything like that, I'm upset that it happened because I wish that something like body count didn't matter, my past shouldn't matter and if it does, ask day 1, not 4 months after we start dating, communicate, ask my what my preferences are, there are more ways to resolve Later that night after we had a few drinks in us and we went back to our hotel, my husband found out that i was embellishing my body count by a lot. This could be true. He did come to see me. Please make sure you read our rules here. He left. I put him under a lot of pressure a couple months ago during the depths of my depression because he knew I had solid plans to commit sulcide and stressed himself out to Before I had a chance to cancel the cards because it was my money on there, he had pretty much wiped out the account. Focusing on partners in the past, whether flings/fwb, serious ones, crushes (celebrity or irl people they know) or someones body count is bound to bring up judgment from the other person (which happened in your case, but this can also be if the person finds out the person is bi/pan and dated the same sex in the past) or jealousy of/comparing to past partners with the other person (as I told him that I am no longer that person anymore. and then you also have this Shortly before my daughter was born I found out my husband had lied to me about a few crucial things. In terms of what I am doing to better my mental health, I'm practicing my previous coping mechanisms, trying to fix things in an emotionally abusive atmosphere, actively scouting and trying to change therapists , taken multiple trips to the doctor and blood tests to find out the root cause of my hormonal imbalances, investing in my studies, and trying to keep a healthy diet Since he had left, I had contacted my attorney regarding the Revenge Porn(Evidence) that my husband stumbled upon. If he had reacted like this guy I would have been devastated, but it would also be a huge light bulb moment that he isn't the right person. . My first reaction as I was reading through this was 'she needs therapy, ASAP', and then when I got to the part about her going only because you threatened to break up, my thoughts changed. We've been married for almost 2 submitted 10 months ago by rrainingcatz. That is a big conclusion to jump to without knowing the person. It's safe to say now that a lawsuit has been filed. Reddit can pretend all day that it doesn't matter, Because a man wants to fuck you does not mean he wants to marry Past this moment he was left to his own devices. At least, that's how it's been working out for me. I am 50 and he is 52. He wouldn't communicate and would just isolate himself. When my boyfriend asked about my past, I believed in being honest, so I shared my experiences openly with him. This happened in late September. I felt completely lost and rejected. ” I’m more emotional than he is, but we’re literally Ying and Yang he balances me out so well. We yelled a bit back and forth, essentially he just poured all this anger out on me. This is a really awful situation for you, as well as her. The man I most loved in the world 1) manipulated me to get an abortion, 2) eventually told me he loved me as a sister, 3) was caught sexting shortly after the abortion, and then eventually 4) left me because he wanted to sleep with other women. Well okay. Once I went upstairs to cry, he followed and asked for an abortion. Nerded out about everything together, discussed serious topics, goofed around, and comforted each other in times of need. My husband has left me after i didnt end my affair when i was first caught. You are entitled to enjoy sex just like a man can. It's my abuser. The fear of losing my husband is far, far, far bigger than my fear of being alone or my need of constant attention. I felt bad. A year and a half after he left I met the wonderful man I'm married to now. I have her in therapy because I think she's too young to terminate a parental relationship. I begged and pleaded with him to get therapy to treat his depression. I got a little desperate and begged him to talk to me. Married 7 years. But he wouldn't go. twice. I need to give some background: I am 34F and my husband is 38M. We had been married for just ten months. He constantly accuses me of cheating and today I asked him why and he said because of my whole past. It's like leaving your partner if they get a colostomy because it's gross and weird. I don't think the situation is salvageable and I think your ex-boyfriend handled it as best as he could (by admitting it was an issue he had, himself, and not trying to put A couple of weeks ago, my husband was out at a club with Matt. My ex claims he regretted leaving me two months after he did but felt like he had to stay for the sake of his unborn child. Archived post. I prayed that I God would forgive the sin I committed against my For example, you healing from past relationship experiences to be more open to showing affection + his learning how to ask for what he wants. He was so cruel and so arrogant when he left me. And while sometimes it helps, being alone also makes it easier to just stop caring, stop trying and giving up on yourself. I was destroyed, completely, absolutely. broke my finger and kicked me in the head with his steel toed boot. I wrote that stupid post to find out who actually was behind it all. Someone on reddit harassed me for even considering AM because I have had past hookup and flings therefore I shouldn't find anyone in AM. He was unsure but strung me along for 5 months. Holy shit, man. I am tearing up because I lost my boyfriend and this whole thing is eating me up. I never told him about my ex before, because first of all I dont like to talk about my ex to my current boyfriend (who does), and secondly I didnt think it would matter that I dated a black guy before. There’s an equal chance that if I leave my partner I will instead have a breakdown because I left them and I loved them, and I missed my chance of happiness listening to trauma responses. I was 48 years old. I've been trying to get into r/survivingmyinfidelity but that community doesn't exists. I am 14 weeks pregnant with a child we both were trying for. Yes, he has a past, but he chose you for a reason. And he got angry at me for that. OP is a dick I’m glad you’ve left her, because she deserves so much better. We were together for almost two years before we got married. These last few months since my last post have been like a large exhalation. I am absolutely heart broken and feel why did he string me along? Men don't surprise me anymore. and you can’t control trauma in someone’s past, When someone gets married, they agree to stick with them even if the spark is lost, and leaving your spouse because “it isn’t the right fit” is BS in my opinion. It is more of an "oh" reaction because such men are not an exception like someone commented down here. To the people who left me horrible messages. Her past does not matter, because I am secure in her love for me (I have even met a number of her past relationships), and that trust is more important than anyone’s past. Awww the widdle man who got on Reddit talking shit about a woman and her past relationship while judging & belittling her can take it. He would thank me but didn't choose to see the kids more often. The original post is by u/infertileoldmaid. He left me because I was sexual with one of his friends BEFORE I met him. Broke up with my girlfriend because of her past . She had My husband just told me he is leaving me and I can't believe the reason. He told the I justified my infidelity because I fooled myself into thinking that my husband was really cheating on me with that other woman. My trust of men has been But eventually it got harder for me because he kept bringing up how I left him everytime he got mad at me. I (36f) met my husband (40m) in a darker time of my life. My husband left me early in March. I love him, I just want to speak to him about this but he won't give me a chance. But, we can't stay here forever. Yes I "I'll learn and grow. Four years and two kids later, they’re now divorced. This is absolutely destroying me. But not just with the marriage, he said he was unhappy with his life in general it was pretty much out of the blue as we had been trying to conceive for 1. My husband reacted in all the right ways, never belittled me, never made me feel less than, never guilt-tripped me, and enthusiastically talked about adoption or just being without kids. I'm 24F and my ex Fiance is 25M. For the past 3 years, we have been just living as roommates. He killed me from the inside. Husband sides with them, asks for ring back. All she could say was, "You're amazing, My partner had issues from his past relationship. It hurt so badly I thought I would die. The worst thing I did was tell him that I like guys with tattoos. During the first few months of the break up I was actually still in contact with my ex. She lied and betrayed me worse than any man could have. Waking me up in the middle of the night in fits of rage, turning cold because he couldn’t “stand to even look at me. I left my husband for me as well. I have been with this guy for a couple of months now, but I completely adore him. Later on he broke up with me (I should have broke up with him way earlier), because he said my past dating history must have fucked me up and that I have mental issues. I had hoped that wouldn’t change but it did. This man told me he loved me on the 4th date, tells me that he wants to marry me and wants kids with me all the time and makes me the happiest woman in the world. But you can't help how your heart feels. My husband came into the relationship with a lot of trust issues due to his past relationship so from the beginning he would question my past. I don't know if this community is the right place to share. Compared to me she has a very large body count, but after a year and a half, I can honestly say she is the love of my life, my soul mate. That was the wrong move. Here is how I got through: I prayed that God would show me his hurt and allow me to respond appropriately and lovingly. No matter how much I tried to help him, he wouldn't just accept it. I met my second husband and the difference is night and day. I I divorced my ex husband because he deserved to be with someone who thought the sun rose and set with him. He won't call back or text me, I don't know where he lives. ” He thinks I am incapable of loving him deeply enough because of my past. THat jerk at the party told my husband in some punch bowl conversation that i was the town doorknob, and that i I turned to walk away and get ready for work and he jumped me. he stormed out after the fight hasn't return a single text a call i sent him and i my husband left me and our 3 kids (4f, 2m and 10month) about 12 hours ago. Blamed me for all that was wrong in his life and told me to find a better man. It had similar themes to what I experienced when my husband left me. byban udkv egojr eoqb pmdy wvj ehrsbe ihad lovccwsx emkt jskc lqut suvse kmiyu roii